“If I die, I’m going to Valhalla,” screamed Emery Mulligan, beneath an oversized, plastic sumo suit. “Shiny and chrome!” Members of the Student Activities Board (SAB) assisted him in putting on his gloves. He stepped into the circle, facing Myles Hammer, whose already burgeoning head of hair was topped with a faux chonmage helmet. Mulligan’s team, Legs for Days, was up against Hammer’s team, McLovin, in the SFUAD Olympics. Like most of the face-offs on Sept. 27, the match didn’t last long. After a brief struggle, Hammer pushed Mulligan out of the ring. Mulligan attempted to thrust back at Hammer, but the force knocked him onto the ground and he had to be helped up again. The events took place on the Quad in front of the bandshell and next to King Hall. Six teams met to challenge each other for the coveted Olympic medals and the glory of Amazon gift cards. The teams faced each other one on one, and with each win were awarded a victory point. Emily Curley, a member of SAB for the first time this year, was very excited about all of the events the group has put together already. “We’ve had a water fight, a glow dance, dodgeball and Uno night so far,” she said. “It’s all I spend my time doing, but it’s worth it.” If students weren’t taking part in the activities, they were sitting on the sidelines, cheering on their friends. “Go, motherfucker, go!” yelled one spectator as he watched a match of tug-of-war. Most of the cheering included expletives of one kind or another. It was not uncommon to hear curses pouring forth from the mouths of the players, either. “My hands!” cried an Olympian, his palms burnt by the tug of the thick,...